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It’s Not A Woman’s Job To Fix A Man

by | November 23, 2018

No it isn’t! It never was and should never be- not a woman’s job! Women are not rehab centers for badly raised men. There’s a sentiment that runs wild among majority, which considers it some kind of sacred job for women- to turn lives around. In a relationship, both the genders grow together then why this moral pressure around women, asking them to bear it all and fix their men? I reiterate, it is not a woman’s job

Not a woman's job
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There’s something that triggered me to sit down and write a full-fledged post about this. Just a month ago, I was brushed up with a neighborhood news (yes gossips spread pretty fast) wherein the man involved gave in to alcoholism and got fired from his job. Understandably, his wife- who had been bearing this for a couple of years, lost patience and packed her bags. The increasing commotion boiled down to just one plain fact- almost everybody thought she was weak and had run away from the responsibility of carving a gentleman out of her alcoholic husband. I had almost forgotten of the incident but then read about Mac Miller dying of overdose and his ex-girlfriend Ariana Grande being blamed for abandoning him. Neither for Ariana nor my neighbor- it is not a woman’s job to fix irresponsible, badly raised, troubled men. The goal was to grow together not turn into a rehab center operating 24*7*365. It can be exhausting for them too. Why hold them guilty for getting tired of a job they didn’t sign up for?


Why fixing a bad relationship or a troubled partner is not a woman’s job? 

Ariana spent years trying to help Miller to get over his addiction. But when all seemed futile, she walked away. And in my opinion she did no wrong. Every woman deserves to lead a fulfilling life where she doesn’t need to be a therapist, doctor, psychologist and counselor to her partner. It is an equal’s partnership. 

The yardstick is different for men and women. A man is said to have ‘dodged a bullet’ when he walks away from a troubled woman. Be the trouble was an addiction, psychological problem or a health concern- men can easily escape. While woman have to ‘prove’ their loyalty by sticking through a man’s addiction, vices or other such problems. Remember the famous Brangelina split? Tabloids after tabloids, there were a number of reports attributing Angelina’s inattentiveness, life style choices and temper to have caused the rift. And Brad Pitt wasn’t held accountable much. Was he reprimanded for not sticking by a ‘troubled’ partner?

The idea here isn’t to ask eye for an eye. Nurturing a relationship should be a responsibility for both the partners and when one fails, the other one should be allowed to leave. Without any burden of guilt! If either partner decides that he/she has grown tired of the negativity in relationship, they deserve to leave guilt-free. 

Our lives are our own responsibility. If anyone goes up the wrong path, we can try showing the correct one, assist in overcoming challenges to it and provide lots of moral support. But the will to change paths has to come from inside and if you don’t see it coming, you are free to leave- no matter what the society has to say! Summing it up with a message by Ariana herself:

Do let us know of your thoughts on- ‘fixing men is not a woman’s job’. Comment below. 

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