Is It Twins?
Really? Really? Stranger at the supermarket checkout, that I’ve been avoiding making eye contact with for the last fifteen seconds, because i just knew you were going to wreck the rest of my day with some sort of crappy, and insensitive question. Don’t, just, Don’t. While we’re on the subject of strangers.
Can I Touch Your Belly?
‘Take that hand back as quickly as you shot it out, or you’ll need some sort of splint for those fingers’.
We’re not magical genies that can grant wishes, and apparently have no say over our own bodies once pregnant. Unless someone is asking for your grubby hands to get in there and give a weird and extremely awkward massage, while declaring ‘i don’t’ feel it’. Just keep your hands to yourself.
Was It Planned?
Exsqueeze me?? I planned to have rambicious sex. Feeling uncomfortable with that? Join the club.
What to say instead: ‘Congrats, awesome news!’
Do you Think You Should Eat That?
I once had this happen to me. The concerned citizen in question was a teen cashier in the market, who was questioning my love of all things tofurky. The deadpan stare went right over their concrete gelled hair and he continued again with how pregnant women should eat healthy. I seriously thought he was going to tell me he didn’t ring it up on my behalf.
Luckily an older and not stunned into silence woman came to my aid and told sonny to zip it.
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Will You Continue Working After The Baby?
Oh, do you mean my continued work to avoid you and intrusive questions? Possibly.
What someone does with their life pre-mid-post baby is none of your concern, how they financially plan for their family is still none of your concern. See ‘what to say instead’ above.
Are You Still With/Know The Father?
Apart from showing your outdated and bigot views on what the perfect nuclear family should be. This sort of question is never, ever welcomed.
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