When Pregnancy Announcements Hurt Like Hell

by | March 4, 2018

Not everyone jumps up and down in glee when those two faint lines appear on the pee stick.

Some people are unprepared, some didn’t even want kids. Yet, when you see the pregnancy announcements on social media, or the excited text messages from friends on their elated news, it stings, and not just a little. it stings a lot. Infertility, it affects a lot more people than you realize.

Infertility affects approximately 12 percent of the U.S. population – over 1 in 10 couples! Roughly 15 to 20 percent of all pregnancies in the U.S. will end in miscarriage. The risk of miscarriage in known pregnancies under twelve weeks is one in five.

 

 

Suffering is hard. Suffering alone is almost unbearable. A solid community of friends and family will be the lifeline of your soul.

 

It’s Okay To Be Angry.

 

Coping with miscarriage comes with its own feelings of guilt that you should not harbor. Sometimes women feel jealous or angry at their pregnant friends, then immediately feel guilty about these emotions. You have to remember you have a right to feel anything you want to or need to in order to cope, but feeling guilty is unfair to you. It is normal to go through these emotions and you should not feel guilty about feeling angry or upset at things out of your control.

 

Don’t Be Afraid To Avoid The Pain

 

Reaching out to your friend, explaining that ‘it’s me, not you’, and that your avoidance is to protect your own mental health, not because you’re not happy for them. Surrounding yourself with the one subject that causes you pain is not healthy for you or them. Stay clear, do something else. You’ll be be hurt, but not as much as sitting in a room with half a dozen people fawning over their ‘pregnant after one try!’ conversations.

 

Be Patient With Yourself

 

Being patient and allowing yourself the time to accept that you have gone through a miscarriage and all the feelings it brought, will help you move forward. Whatever you do, don’t add guilt about your feelings to everything else. It is normal if your immediate reactions to pregnancy and baby news are not jumping for joy. Acknowledging these feelings means ‘owning’ them, and acceptance. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human.

 

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