The Screaming Phase: Toddler Mom Life
Why does my toddler scream?
While it may seem like your toddler is lashing out against you during the screaming phase, it’s important to remember the this is all developmental . By exploring the power of their voice, and experimenting with what they can do with it.
Do you feel like anytime you’re out shopping he let’s it out?! It’s because not only are there plenty of new people to impress, but also cool echoes especially in malls and grocery stores.
Sometimes it’s purely for attention. It’s their way of saying, “LOOK MA!” Other times they scream when they want something they can’t have, such as a ice cream or a parent’s expensive electronics. Screaming for these things communicates, “I want it!! Give it to me!”
Shouting back doesn’t help. It’ll actually encourage the behavior. Your best bet is to avoid situations that tempt your toddler to raise her voice and to redirect attention when she does scream. Here are some ideas:
Find Places that are more “Screaming Phase” Friendly
As best as you can, try to work with your toddlers schedule. Making sure he’s eaten solid meal and taken a nap can make things a lot easier. I can remember times where I’ve been in no mood to be at the store, but as an adult you have control of your surroundings to an extent. Toddlers don’t get to feel that control, screaming can help them feel that power
Ask her to use her “indoor voice”
If your toddler’s screaming because she’s happy, try not to comment or criticise. But if it’s really bothering you, ask her to use her indoor voice instead.
Acknowledge your toddler’s feelings
If your toddler’s screaming because she wants your attention, ask yourself whether she’s genuinely uncomfortable or overwhelmed. If you think the environment you’re in is too much for her, finish what you’re doing and leave fast.
If you think she’s just bored or cranky, acknowledge what she’s feeling. They will be comforted that you understand, and you’ll also help her learn how to put her feelings into words.
If you know your toddler’s raised the volume because they think they can get a cookie, don’t give in. You’ll just reinforce her behaviour by giving her what she wants when she screams. Instead, verbalize, “I know you want a cookie, but we have to finish this first.” Don’t bother saying they can have the cookie later if behavior improves. Simply offer a cookie once you’re home.
Screaming Phase Fun
By allowing the screaming and saying, “Let’s both shout as loud as we can,” then join her in letting rip. Afterwards turn down the volume by saying, “Now it’s time to see whose whisper is quietest.” Follow this with nursery rhymes or songs like, “Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes”. This will make screaming seem like just one of many fun things she can do.
Chat with your little one when you’re out and about — telling them what you’re doing, point out all the fun things around you, and even saying hi to other kids can make your trip run smoothly. Ask for help with choosing fruit and vegetables, and letting them pick items off the shelves will help them feel in control.
Offer toys and snacks. Just make sure you give them to your toddler before the screaming she kicks in. Don’t wait for the screaming to start, or they’ll learn quickly that’s screaming gets results. Offer a snack or toy for calm behavior.
Ignore the Nonsense & Connect
For most parents, the hardest part of coping with the screaming phase letting go of other people’s judgemental looks. Chat with other parents in groups like Vegan Pregnancy & Parenting and create an online support network to keep you calm and motivated when it comes to the toddler years! Also check out articles like Surviving Toddlers and Coping With Toddler Behavior Without Losing Your Mind.
Tags: dealing with toddlers, developmental phases, gentle parenting, gentle parenting advice, screaming phase, surviving toddlers, toddler development, toddler expression, toddler hates diaper, toddler screaming