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The Joy of Periods.

by | October 12, 2018

Periods are fun aren’t they?

I don’t know about you, but I spend two weeks dreading the impending arrival of doomsday, one week in trauma mode and then after my period I have my “one good week of the month”. That’s what my ex-husband used to call it, such a charmer, Ha!

What motivated me to write this piece? Well, its the week before my “good week” and I needed to make myself laugh before I start crying again. Hopefully, these truths about periods will make you giggle too and make rag-week a little less awful.

Bloated AF.

Ugh when you’re so bloated that your pants don’t fit.

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Pimples are a poppin’

When your face reverts back to being thirteen.

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Swellin’ Melons

When your boobs are so swollen and sore that it even hurts to breathe.

AXL/Shutterstock.com

Debilitating Exhaustion.

When you’re so tired that you think you might actually be dead.

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Anger

Watch out world, here comes my unbridled rage.

DeanDrobot/Shutterstock.com

Crime Scene Poop

Why do I poop hourly, and, ugh just whyyyyyy?

aslysun/Shutterstock.com

Sneeze gush

AAAh Aaah ChooOh! God, I’m afraid to look.

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Sleep Leakage

When you wake up in the middle of the night unsure if you’ve been attacked by a bear or it’s just leakage.

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Lost/Forgotten Tampon

C’mon y’all, I know I’m not the only one to have done this.

GeorgeDolgikh/Shutterstock.com

Blood Clots

WTF just plopped out of me?

periods
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Aren’t periods so much fun?

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Julie Nealon

Associate Editor, New York USA | Contactable via [email protected]

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