The Joy of Periods.

Periods are fun aren’t they?

I don’t know about you, but I spend two weeks dreading the impending arrival of doomsday, one week in trauma mode and then after my period I have my “one good week of the month”. That’s what my ex-husband used to call it, such a charmer, Ha!

What motivated me to write this piece? Well, its the week before my “good week” and I needed to make myself laugh before I start crying again. Hopefully, these truths about periods will make you giggle too and make rag-week a little less awful.

Bloated AF.

Ugh when you’re so bloated that your pants don’t fit.

Pimples are a poppin’

When your face reverts back to being thirteen.

Swellin’ Melons

When your boobs are so swollen and sore that it even hurts to breathe.

Debilitating Exhaustion.

When you’re so tired that you think you might actually be dead.

Anger

Watch out world, here comes my unbridled rage.

Crime Scene Poop

Why do I poop hourly, and, ugh just whyyyyyy?

Sneeze gush

AAAh Aaah ChooOh! God, I’m afraid to look.

Sleep Leakage

When you wake up in the middle of the night unsure if you’ve been attacked by a bear or it’s just leakage.

Lost/Forgotten Tampon

C’mon y’all, I know I’m not the only one to have done this.

Blood Clots

WTF just plopped out of me?

Aren’t periods so much fun?

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