Credits: Oksana Shufrych/ Shutter-stock

The Parents vs Non Parents Conflict: Is Friendship Between Them Possible?

by | November 30, 2018

I am a non parent while my best friend recently gave birth to an adorable baby. Presently our friendship is dangling somewhere between the parent vs non parent conflict. Every time I dial her number now, I have to question myself whether it’s appropriate to call directly or should I leave her a message first. Should I call her in the afternoon? Will we ever be able to go to movies together, like before? Questions are endless!

parents vs non parents
Credits: Monkey Business Images/ Shutter-stock

Its no longer parents vs non parents. Friendship is possible!

Just as I was figuring out ways to still be a part of her life, I happen to stumble upon several rants about the age old parents vs non parents conflict. I won’t be lying if I say, I got real scared of losing my long time friend. Are friendships this difficult to maintain when one of the friends becomes a parent? The answer is no. I will elaborate in the later sections of this post on maintaining the delicate bond of friendship.

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Parents vs Non parents conflict can easily be avoided

Yes it can be avoided. And seems like me and my best friend just hit the jackpot when we freely discussed it over a cup of coffee. If both the friends are hell-bent on remaining close to each other as before, there isn’t a thing that can separate them. Not even a cute adorable baby.

Here are some of the tips I feel are very helpful in avoiding the parents vs non parents conflict and maintaining friendships.

Acceptance

This is for non parents. Nothing works better than accepting the fact that you can’t control circumstances. Change is the only constant thing so readily accept it. Accept that your friend has a new responsibility now and she’s going to be a bit busy than your liking. If the friendship is precious for you, you won’t mind putting in extra efforts.

Take charge and reach out

This one is for the parents. Since it is the non parent putting in extra efforts by giving you the much needed space, in turn you can take charge and reach out to them whenever possible. Make a phone call once or twice a week and show that you too care. Host Sunday brunches at your home. It will be a lot easier to hang with your friends in the comfort of your home all the while keeping a eye on your child.

Focus on more refreshing topics

This is for both parents and non parents. Talk on topics other than just kids. This way parents can catch a break from life that otherwise solely revolves around the kids, while non parents can too get involved in the discussion without feeling left out. Talk about work, life, hobbies- just anything that interests you both.

Empathize with each other

Just like parents have their moments of insanity, non parents too suffer from the same. Empathize with each other over the possibility that you both can be easy and not available for an instant chat.

Set basic boundaries

Talk to each other and decide on some basic boundaries like text before call, no call time zone etc. These boundaries are immensely helpful in preventing the clash of parents vs non parents worlds.

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