You’re cordially invited to the Golden Boob Awards

by Julie Nealon | September 9, 2018

Have you ever heard of Golden Boobs? Read below to find out more about the new Breastfeeding Awards.

Breastfeeding can be a wonderful experience but sometimes it can be tough, I’m not going to lie. It can take up almost all of your day, especially if the baby is cluster feeding. I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to awkwardly shuffle around my house trying to one-handedly hold the baby in the only nursing position she liked and wash dishes, feed kids, even go to the bathroom (yes sorry probably T.M.I. but hey, it’s real life). Not to mention issues like cracked nipples, mastitis, clogged ducts or thrush. You can feel a bit like a “mombie” with the sheer exhaustion of it all, possibly even contemplating giving up altogether.

There’s a new awards system that can help motivate you to level up like a real-life video game. So don your most glamorous nursing bra ladies, you’ve been invited to the Oscar’s of nursing, the Golden Boob Awards.

The categories are: (Drumroll please)

• Bronze boobs = three months of breastfeeding
• Silver boobs = six months of breastfeeding
• Golden boobs =  one year of breastfeeding
• Platinum boobs= 18 months of breastfeeding
• Diamond boobs = two years of breastfeeding or longer

The controversial reward system started on baby forums in the UK, where women bragged about their breastfeeding accomplishments in their post signatures. Darcy Zalewski, the blogger behind Life With Darcy and Brian, said the ratings were “golden star stickers” for nursing mothers.

Like most Internet trends, the breastfeeding awards have transcended into the real world. An Instagram account called the Bada** Breastfeeder posted a picture of a “golden boobies” cake. Baked by Grace Daniels Cakes, in Galway, Ireland. The baked boobies were commissioned by her client in celebration of one year of breastfeeding. “Congratulations Jeni on Your Golden Boobies!” was inscribed under a pair of perfectly baked golden breasts.

Even the likes of Etsy and Amazon have jumped on the boob awards trend, selling coffee mugs, t-shirts, key chains, and jewelry so women can proudly boast about their breastfeeding accomplishments.

Even though the booby awards have proven very popular on breastfeeding forums, they’ve received quite the backlash from internet parenting groups. Some thinking it’s shaming to those who are not able or who choose not to continue to breastfeed for whatever reason. Some moms who choose to bottle feed say they feel left out or castigated. There’s never a discussion about how to feed your baby without somebody being offended. I’m pretty sure most of us would agree that fed is best. It’s all in a bit of fun, whatever it takes to motivate yourself to keep on keeping on.

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