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8 Steps To Raising Strong Confident Girls With High Self Esteem

by | February 21, 2019

Parenting done right: Raise strong confident girls with high self esteem

I was the Mother to only boys for eleven years. Like every parent, I worried about the type of world we live in these days and how I was going to teach my smart, funny and sensitive boys to navigate it. I want them to be a good balance of take-no-sh*t, and kind. I now have a daughter and the day that she was born there was a fire lit in my belly like I’ve never experienced. Equal parts fury, determination, and fear.

8 Steps to Raising Strong Confident Girls With High Self Esteem
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8 Steps To Raising Strong Confident Girls With High Self Esteem

I like to think of myself as a nice sweet person who takes absolutely no cr*p from anyone. I didn’t use to be that way. I had very low self-esteem growing up, especially as a teenager. This led to some risky behaviors. I was a pleaser. I think my fractured relationship with my father probably had a lot to do with that. When he was around, he was verbally abusive and controlling, when he wasn’t around, well, he wasn’t around, and that’s a whole other problem.

It wasn’t until I hit my late thirties, after what feels like two lifetimes of bad decisions and failed relationships. That I realized how awesome a person I was and even better than that, I had zero f**ks to give to anyone who thought differently. I don’t want my daughter to have to wait until she’s almost middle-aged before she feels that way about herself. I want her to be a confident, kick-butt person from the start.

I want her to know that she can be whatever she wants to be. I want her to take no s**t from anyone, especially from what seems like the never-ending supply of toxic men that our society has been pumping out over the years — something I’ve been making damn sure that my own boys won’t grow up to be.

How do we do that? How do we instill confidence in our little girls so that they grow up to be bada** women who hold their heads high? How? I’ll tell you how. It all starts at home. We build those little girls up from the second they’re born, and we don’t stop, EVER.

Here are some tips on raising strong confident girls with high self esteem:

Believe in Her

Tell your daughters they can do anything they set their minds to. Tell them every day how amazing they are. How smart, funny, kind, and awesome they are.

Let Her Play

Get your girls outside and let them get dirty. Teach them to climb a tree. Give them Barbies and firetrucks. Let them dress up, be it a princess, an astronaut or a construction worker. Let them use their imagination and guide them away from stereotypical girl/boy roles. Encourage her to pursue her own passions through play time.

Let her be Heard

Teach them how to make decisions and also that those decisions have consequences. Let her have an age-appropriate say in matters that pertain to her. Let her pick out her own clothes. Let her choose whether she wants to take dance classes or football, or both if she wants. Let her know that she is the queen of her own destiny. She needs to practice making decisions now so that she’s a pro at it when she’s running that fortune 500 company.

Self Praise is GOOD Praise.

Let that girl’s pride flag fly high. Some girls feel embarrassed when they are singled out for achievements. Teach her that it’s ok to be good at something and to be proud of that fact. Let her brag to whoever is around. Teach her that it’s ok to take a compliment. Teach her that hard work pays off!

Show Empathy

Teach her that her feelings matter, even if you don’t agree with her. Empathy makes your daughter know that she matters and that her feelings are important, which instills self-worth.

Teach her to Love Herself

You have to lead by example here. Teach your daughter to love how she looks, that she is perfect just as she is. Don’t make any negative comments about your own body in front of her. Keep those self-deprecating thoughts to yourself. If she grows up watching you loving yourself, she’ll learn to love herself too.

Let her Play Sports

Signing her up for sports at an early age teaches her to appreciate her body for its strength rather than just its beauty.

Don’t use the B-word

Please, please don’t use the ‘B-word.’ Instead of saying using the word bossy, rejoice in those leadership qualities that she’s showing. For years strong women have been classed as bossy, while strong men are great leaders. Eradicate the word bossy from your vocabulary!! Allow your daughter to be assertive and be unapologetic for it, not to the point of being rude of course (unless she needs to be!!)

Teach her the Importance of School

Teach your daughter the importance of going to school and working hard so that she can choose what she wants for a career and not just fall into something because it’s easy. Teach her that hard work now will pay off in the long run.

Got more tips on raising strong confident girls with high self esteem? Share with us in the comments below.


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Julie Nealon

Associate Editor, New York USA | Contactable via [email protected]

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