Do You Discipline Your Child Responsibly?
We have all been there, the three-year-old is pushing every button, and even buttons you didn’t know existed. Nerves on the verge of snapping; it’s time to call for a halt to the chaos. Yet, there are correct and incorrect ways to reprimand. Read on to find out more.
What is T
he Motive To Discipline Your Child?
Sometimes it is the parent who feels punished by watching the sad, brooding face of the child who is being disciplined. And, at times children do need disciplining. This is to help them realize that there are restraints to be maintained, boundaries to be abided, and rules to be followed. It is integral in life where elders themselves are still learners. Your child might need disciplining to keep harmony, balance and last nerves intact for another day.
But if the motive of disciplining a child alters, which implies your personal vehemence overtaking the original intent of your child’s holistic betterment, then there is a problem. This is where the fine line between ‘disciplining’ and ‘disciplining correctly’ should be drawn. As a parent, you will, of course, punish your kid for some actions, but the way you do the same reflects a lot.
Why will you bother disciplining correctly? Because you want your child to learn from the mistake, at the same time feel your concern and love. Not fear you.
How to Discipline Correctly?
1. Never Spank
The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly opposes spanking or hitting a child in any form. Physical punishment like spanking might momentarily discipline them, but in the long run, it’ll be of no use, save the negative outcomes.
Today your child out of fear from the physical pain, may not do it again, but it’s not a long term solution to personal growth and learning from mistakes. Even if you’ve spanked in the past, make it a point to apologize to the child, explaining how you lost control. You don’t want your child to carry emotional baggage because of your spanking.
2. Selectively Ignore
You can’t believe how drastically effective is selectively ignoring. I, as a child, was very stubborn and obstinate. I still remember one incident while returning from a fun-fair. I was endlessly crying to get myself an extra helping of cotton-candy despite having five already. I kept whining and irritating my mom. I did that a lot. But that day, to my surprise my mom did not even bother to settle me down with something else (no question of giving another cotton-candy) and led me straight back home. And the whole way back I was expecting my constant tantrum would pay off, maybe she’ll give me another one, but she didn’t. All i was left with was red eyes, and a sore throat.
That very day I realized, that I wouldn’t get everything I wanted, regardless of how much yelling I did. And now I realize how much it helped me shape as an individual. I was able to cultivate restraint because of that day (and many others) that she didn’t relent. All these doesn’t imply you’ll never fetch your child an extra helping of their favorite food. The idea is to make him/her realize that all the demands can never be fulfilled. And this will shape his future attitude to life.
3. Allow Automatic Consequences to Happen
Sometimes it is imperative that you don’t step between your kid and the mistake they committed. Exposing your child to the natural and due consequence will ultimately teach him to learn from mistakes. Say for instance, if your child is constantly asking for a whitish powder lying on the table, which he thinks is sugar powder, but actually, is flour, give him a bowl of it. Let him eat the flour and spit out. He will surely realize that he is supposed to listen for his own good.
4. Forbid Privileges at Times
No wonder every parent wants to give the best possible life to their kiddos. But this should not come at a cost of previously set boundaries. Canceling his/her favorite T.V show, having a time out from their Play Station or video game, and forbidding him/her from going out to play will remind him/ her not to repeat mistakes and that all actions have consequences. Make it a point to let your child know that with learning better behavior and rectifying their mistakes they can earn back the privileges.
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