Our Embryo Donation and Why We are Looking for Their New Family

by | October 17, 2018

Families come together in so many ways, through birth, adoption, fostering, embryo donation, and sometimes, kindred souls who share a space on this tiny earth together, with so much love that our hearts could burst.

As vegans, we come to the lifestyle sometimes through concern about our health, the animals, or the environment, and usually always end at the same place, compassion. Knowing that the world can be a better place. The family in this story reached out to Raise Vegan, for help in finding a compassionate family who wanted children, and would raise them vegan. 

If you are searching for an embryo donation to start or complete your family, and are vegan. We want to help you. Yet, from here, we’ll let the mom tell her own story, and why she wants to meet you.   

Embryo Donation

Our Family 

When you dream about having kids, you never imagine the ups and downs that come along with the ride. For us, the roller coaster started long before our girls were even growing inside me, back when the dream of becoming a mom seemed like an imminent possibility. After 34 years of waiting to be a mom, I was ready. We were ready. Apparently, my body was not. Month after month, it became more and more heartbreaking to see my cycle come around again. Just waiting two weeks to “try again” and then two more weeks to take a pregnancy test felt like an eternity. I gave in to the stress more quickly than I thought I would have and went to see a fertility doctor.

Embryo Donation

The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with me or my husband, but for some reason, we weren’t able to conceive naturally. Within a month, I was taking fertility drugs and getting over my fear of needles. After a few failed attempts at timed insemination, in vitro fertilization became an option.  My husband was hesitant but I wanted to continue full steam ahead. There were so many things for us to consider in taking an assisted route to parenthood, but in that moment, I just wanted my baby as soon as possible.

Embryo Donation

Before starting IVF, you are required to take a course that is designed to educate you on the medications and the proper use of needles. It makes sense that the clinic would want you and your partner to be prepared for the process, but in hindsight, there was a wealth of information they left out. For instance, they fail to emphasize that once the process starts, you will essentially be taking shots in the butt for eight long weeks. They tell you that you’ll have to abstain from any type of sex as the egg retrieval nears, but they don’t warn you that the hormones you’re taking send your libido skyrocketing, causing you to want to rip your husband’s clothes off any time he walks across the room. Finally, and most importantly, they don’t warn you that by stimulating your body to mass produce eggs then attempting to fertilize and grow multiple embryos, you have an increased chance of ending up with more viable embryos than the number of kids you were planning to have. Then you have a dilema: Do I save the embryos for later and continue to grow my family out of guilt? Do I conveniently forget about these lives I helped conceive? Do I keep them frozen indefinitely?

From the time I started IVF until the day my girls were born, I thought it was best to have more embryos on reserve, just in case. More embryos meant a higher potential for future pregnancies if the first ones didn’t “take.” We’re not religious people and the idea of five-day-old embryos frozen in time didn’t particularly bother us. If we didn’t need them later, no big deal.

Embryo Donation

Fast forward to eight months after our single embryo transfer and our twin daughters were born.  Now, when I think about discarding the embryos, I can only think, “What if we had picked a different embryo to transfer and my daughters were still frozen at five days past conception?”  I can’t fathom discarding embryos that have the potential to be as precious as my two girls.

Embryo Donation 

Three options. You can donate to a couple, you can donate to science or you can discard

When you decide you aren’t going to personally use your embryos, the clinic gives you three options: you can donate to a couple, you can donate to science or you can discard, which brings me to why I’m writing: we’ve decided that even though we’re a complete family, we want to give our three remaining embryos a chance at life. We’d like to find a couple who is trying to start a family and has values similar to our family’s. Namely, they have to be vegan. We are ethical vegans and can’t imagine inadvertently contributing to more animal suffering by donating our embryos to a meat- or dairy-consuming family. Our hope is that our daughters will never taste meat or dairy in their lifetime and we hope to give them the knowledge and tools to be compassionate humans who defend all living beings. This is also our hope for our little embryos. We were lucky.  We got pregnant and now have two beautiful, healthy, compassionate children. We’d like to help another vegan family to have beautiful, healthy, compassionate children. And so, the search begins.

If you are a vegan family,  or someone who is an ethical vegan and wants to start a family and discuss the embryo donation . You can reach us by emailing 
[email protected]



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