Valentines. The blissful time of the year, when every overpriced restaurant in town is booked solid and your ethical vegan doesn’t want dead flowers in their kitchen.
Taking up valuable counter space, dropping a leaf every day until mid march, when you are reminded daily how much thought went into that special romantic night. We’ve put together a list of what every tired parent wants for Valentines Day.
Coupled with having children who never knew, nor ever seem to want to know, the meaning of ‘personal space’. That by the dinner hour of an otherwise regularly scheduled exhaustion of a Wednesday night, with a looming work alarm clock on Thursday. You’re as much inclined for dinner and romance as you are to explain the finer points of veganism to that person who always comments ‘bacon’ on a vegan meme on Facebook.
Valentines – The Parents Edition.
No, not the ‘honey, you sleep in tomorrow and i’ll let the kids run around for twenty five minutes until you’re fully awake and then take them downstairs. Sweep those little sticky fingered sweat balls up as soon as they utter a ‘hello’ whisper. Dress downstairs, out in the snow, or in the car if you have to. Yet, away from your overtired spouses ears.
This is cute, and if you’re able to create it without using every single pot and pan in the house, then wonder where the magical cleaning fairies are. Go for it. However, chances are it will be ten seconds of eating, followed by three hours of cleaning the next day, with ‘thank you, the toast was just delicious’.
Find the local vegan restaurant and order it all. We’re talking the weird dishes that you’re not sure what they are, to the decadent cake. It will be eaten, appreciated and with no clean up, it’s every parents dream.
A Long Shower. Alone.
That’s right, those little people who know no personal space, are wholly incapable of personal time also. They will join you pooping, peeing, changing your maxi pad, and forget about showers. That’s just one long get together, where they ask questions such as ‘why is your belly so big?’ and ‘what are those dimples in your legs mama?’
A Clean House
That’s right. While a lot of dads stay home, moms are still the main caregivers and home makers today. Staying home is a tough job. The last thing anyone wants, is a valentines evening, followed by a ton of work the next day. Call in the professionals if you need to, but make sure that house is sparking