By Munimara/shutterstock

Lippy And All Over The Place: Post Pregnancy Vagina Shaming

by | March 8, 2019

I never knew post pregnancy vagina shaming was a thing, until I had this conversation…

I was having a particularly funny conversation with a male friend a few months ago. He has a tendency towards the inappropriate, which is totally fine by me as I tend to gravitate that way myself. But on this occasion, dude crossed a line. In fairness, it was unintentional, and I think he was actually trying to pay me a compliment. He achieved the exact opposite, unfortunately. I felt ashamed and embarrassed.

Lippy And All Over The Place: Post Pregnancy Vagina Shaming
By Len-art/shutterstock
Lippy And All Over The Place: Post Pregnancy Vagina Shaming

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Lippy And All Over The Place: Post Pregnancy Vagina Shaming

We were talking about dating and d**k pics, and I was telling him about the unsolicited picture of a hard penis, being held erect by a knobbly, hairy hand. He laughed and agreed that it was gross and uncalled for. I asked him if he’d ever gotten any ‘chick-pics.’ To my surprise, he said yes. I don’t know why but I honestly only thought that dudes sent those. Anyway, then went on to spill the beans about all the vagina pictures he’d received. Then he turned to me and said something that I’ll never be able to shake from my body-issues-bucket (that’s where I keep all of the things I hate about my body, in my head). ‘I bet you have a perfect pu$$y’ he said. I looked at him and asked what he meant by that. His answer floored me. “You know, all tidy and pretty, not all lippy and all over the place’.

What the actual f**k???

I was that-day-years-old when I found out that some men judge women by the shape(s) of their labia. Oh my God! Post pregnancy vagina shaming is a thing!

Naturally, I googled lady-part pictures after he left. I had no idea that they came in all shapes and sizes. Now from the beginning I never had one of those so-called ‘perfect’ vaginas. It’s always been slightly uneven, or ‘lippy’ for want of a better word. Never really thought anything of it. I’ve had a few flings around the bedroom in my life, and have yet to hear a complaint. I have to be honest though after I had my first, second, and third child, my vagina and labia became progressively more pulvarized looking. Meh, it wasn’t really a big deal to me, until I heard my friend utter those words.

I think they bothered me because I‘m now single and dating and, well you know, getting it on occasionally. I was already super self-conscious about my stretch mark covered mummy tummy and my saggy breasts that had the life sucked out of them for at least four and a half years. Now I have to worry about how ‘lippy’ my labia are? Ugh WTF, just one more thing, add it to the list. One thing I’ve been working on lately is facing my fears. If something scares me, I’m going to hurl myself at it, head first. So obviously that meant I was going have a little rattle with my ‘friend’ to show him just what a ‘lippy’ vagina could do.

Needless to say, he hasn’t stopped begging for a second round. Meh, I proved my point (to both of us), my vagina works perfectly thank you very much. Thank you, NEXT!!


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Julie Nealon

Associate Editor, New York USA | Contactable via Julie@raisevegan.com

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