Roundup Of The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Week
What is life without other parents to show you, that we’re all in this together, one poopy stinky diaper at a time. Thankfully we have Twitter, for the best parenting tweets to keep us going.
Just when you thought parenting couldn’t get any more terrifying, there’s always a little person whispering in your ear at 3am.
6yo: “mommy I made you a present while you were at dentist!”
— Carolyn Velociraptor (@Arumi_kai) September 9, 2018
Me: “Oh?”
6yo: “It’s a picture!”
Me: “Awwww…”
6yo: “Its the dentist taking out your tooth with a chainsaw and you screaming!”
Me: “Uh…”#parenting pic.twitter.com/cfWNA3s9Bd
If Coffee code for… eh, coffee? Parenting tweets that show the depressing reality of never being alone again.
TFW you realize becoming a parent has slowly turned you into creepy Jerry from accounting who only refers to himself in the third person:
— Laura (@lauratellsjokes) September 9, 2018
“Mom can’t play right now because Mom is still drinking her coffee.” #parenting
Parenting Tweets for when you’re winning at parenting, and everything else in life.
Took Jack to the barber today, and he sat still, didn't cry, and didn't scream.
— Jack's Dad (@DaddingAround) September 9, 2018
I also bought a load of lottery tickets on the way home because apparently today is my day!#parenting #dadlife
They’re growing up so fast!
6yo just asked me to “hook him up with some breakfast.”#parenting #momofboys #16yearoldmouthona6yearoldbody
— Lynda McDougall (@LyndaMaria81) September 9, 2018
I would suspect calling them the ‘backup plan’ is probably a no-go also.
It is not okay to refer to your second child as your "spare child".
— Jack's Dad (@DaddingAround) September 7, 2018
I know this now.#parenting #dadlife
Some days you wanna curl up and cry yourself to sleep. But then there’s scratching and the door shakes. The bathroom floor is cold. Tiny fingers reach for you through the gap under the door. And even though you’re next to a toilet, the smell of poop is coming from outside #Parenting
*3 year old drinking from my water bottle*
— Total Mom Life (@TotalMomLife) September 9, 2018
Me: don't drink all the water, I want some
3 year old: don't worry, I'm putting some back #Gross #NoThanks #Parenting
Sometimes. Some things are better left in the unknown.
A cop of @DatelineNBC just said that his case has “multiple snitches.” Which sounds like what it’s like when my kid and nephew are narcing on each other for stuff that happened when the other wasn’t even in the room. #snitches #parenting pic.twitter.com/lMXieqHhh9
— Leslie Streeter (@LeslieStreeter) September 9, 2018
I'm pretty sure that about half the times that my toddler cries in the middle of the night that he doesn't actually need anything. He's just evaluating my response time.#Dadlife #Parenting
— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) September 6, 2018
We all know that feeling – a crying toddler in the middle of the night. You race into their room, and they’re quietly asleep. Masters of gaslighting.
I remember being so excited that my daughter could talk and form coherent sentences when she was so little except now she's 7 and she won't shut up. #parenting #momlife #momsquad #kids #girls
— Secretly a badass 🛫 (@jayneairplane) September 9, 2018
Just some peace and quiet little people!
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