The Difficulty Of Talking About Miscarriage

by | June 4, 2018

Talking about miscarriage is a sensitive subject.

Miscarriage is one of the most difficult subjects to talk about. It’s affected countless women, maybe once or more than once. Maybe it’s never happened to you and you find yourself at a loss of words for what to say to a loved one who has experienced a loss. I want to be honest with you — I have not personally experienced miscarriage, but I know dozens of friends and family who have. It is more common than many women realize and it can happen to anyone.

If you’ve ever experienced a miscarriage, you may feel waves of emotions; grief, sadness, anger, guilt, depression, or acceptance. It’s okay to feel and process these intense emotions, even if they’re difficult to cope with.

Talk to people about your experience.

If you find yourself feeling alone, see if there is a local support group that meets to talk with others who have been through similar experiences. Do you have a friend who has experienced a miscarriage who would be willing to talk with you and help you process your feelings? Having a group of supportive women who know how you feel can make a world of difference and help you in talking about miscarriage and your experiences. 


READ MORE: WHEN PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENTS HURT LIKE HELL


Read some books about other peoples experiences talking about miscarriage.

There are some amazing books available to help you process a miscarriage. One book (written by two phenomenal women from my hometown!) is called “Our Stories of Miscarriage: Healing with Words” by Rachel Faldet and Karen Fitton. It’s a book of 50 essays of couples who have traveled the roadmap of loss, sharing their experiences and talking about miscarriage. If books aren’t your thing, there are podcasts to help you cope and heal.

Check out THIS LINK for stories on miscarriage, infertility and more. 


RELATED: WHY WE WAIT UNTIL 12 WEEKS TO ANNOUNCE PREGNANCIES

READ MORE: THE ZIKA VIRUS AND PREGNANCY, EVERYTHING YOU SHOULD KNOW


Take care of your mental health.

Lastly, be kind and gentle with yourself. It’s not your fault. Statistically, 1 in 10 pregnancies ends in miscarriage between the 6th and 10th week. If you can afford to take time off to grieve and process, do so. Self-care is important now. Treat yourself to an hour-long massage. Maybe get outside in the evening with a friend and digress. Even volunteering at a local humane society can help heal your heart and bring you some stress relief. Fill your beautiful body with nutritious food, or treat yourself with some dairy-free ice cream and cookies if that’s what you need. Everyone’s process is unique. Be sure to acknowledge your feelings, and remember, you are definitely not alone.

Talking about miscarriage is always going to be a difficult and sensitive subject. But, unfortunately, is it something that far too many women deal with on a daily basis.

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Siri Steven is a midwest mama, passionate about delicious vegan food, animal rights and caring for the Earth. She loves to write, take photos, make music with her husband and spend time exploring national parks with her family. She’s the creator of The Vegan Steven which features recipes, interviews and more! Follow her on Instagram @thevegan.steven

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