The reality of stay at home mom depression

by | August 27, 2018

This past week I just so happen to see a post that had been re-posted several times on social media as I was having a rough week as a stay at home mom. The picture was of a mom sitting hunched over on top of a closed toilet with her eyes shut while her two kids are trying to get into the restroom on the other side of the door. Mom depression, it’s real and more common than you think.

How many of you mama’s can relate? Where your only “down-time” or “me-time” (if you’re lucky) is a trip to the restroom?

Here’s what people don’t see behind the “glory” of staying home and raising their children.

Do you know what it’s like to wake up and have a tiny human attached to you from the moment you open your eyes?

Do you know what it’s like to lose any sense of identity because now all you are is a milk machine and maid?

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Do you know what it’s like to feel so tired that you’re just beyond tired and have lost any sense of time or day?

Do you know what it’s like to care over someone 24/7 causing you to forget about your own existence as a person?

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Do you know what it’s like leaving the house and trying to remember if you even had the chance to brush your teeth before leaving your house?

But wait, how DARE you complain about being a stay at home when all working moms or future parents only DREAM about staying home and watching their kids develop their own personalities. Besides, you’re the one that wanted to have kids, right?

Here’s the thing, those two comments are the WORST things you can say to a stay at home mom. If anything, it causes more guilt. Why? Because all she wants to do is have someone listen. Someone who isn’t watching their favorite Disney movie on replay (which you’ve learned all the words and lyrics to). She wants an actual adult conversation, where she’s allowed to feel human for once and not be identified just as a mother.

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So, the next time you see a stay at home mom with dark circles under her eyes, yawning every 10 seconds yet has a smile on her face, stop and say, “you’re doing an AMAZING job as a mother”. Who knows, maybe that one comment can be the highlight of her day because she IS doing the absolute best that she can!

To my stay at home moms, we are right there with you. We get it. You’re not alone. If you need to cry, cry. And most importantly, don’t be afraid to ask for help because guess what? We ALL need a break sometimes and that’s OKAY.

Here are 5 tips on how to take a break if you’re a stay at home mom:

  • Take a breath of fresh air, even if it means just going to your front yard or backyard
  • Ask someone to watch your child while you take a worry-free shower or a bath
  • Take a stroll down some aisles at Target (let’s face it, who doesn’t LOVE Target?)
  • If you can, do something nice for yourself, maybe get a massage or your nails done (you’ll feel like a whole new woman)
  • If all else fails, a little wine after bedtime never hurts

All in all, we NEED mental breaks. Don’t be afraid to hit that “reset” mom button because we can’t pour from an empty cup mama’s.

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