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Few Secrets To Get Closer To Your Teenager

by | December 1, 2018

I am back with my favorite topic again, the Teen life! And this time my focus is on passing around some tips to help you get closer to your teenager. Even though it sounds like too much of work and heartbreaks, forming a close bond with your teen isn’t that difficult at all! Here are the two previous posts, both meant for parents of teenagers:

Is coping with tween behavior possible?

Discussions to have when your teen is leaving for college

Do give them a read first. 

get closer to your teenager
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How to get closer to your teenager?

There’s only one way to get started on developing close relationship with your teen- stop believing your way is the only right way to do things. Keep an open mind to new suggestions, new ways and new perspectives. Go through the following tips with an open mind, you never know when you might hit the jackpot and win a warm parent-teen relationship in return.

Stop the blame game

Blaming others is an easy escape route from responsibilities. Don’t give in to these guilty pleasures and check yourself, if you feel you become defensive when things go awry in the household. Accept responsibility and instead of pointing fingers, come up with amiable solutions. Nobody is infallible and there will always be problems in every house. The focus should be on finding solutions to them. So the next time your teen forgets to turn the lights off after using the bathroom and you feel like shouting, DON’T! Relax, inhale a deep breath and turn it off. In a calm but firm tone explain him that you did it this time but won’t do so in future. It is his responsibility also, to help conserve electricity. You can come up with an innovative solution, like removing lights from his bathroom the next time you find him repeating the same thing again. Keep a counter, such as mutually agree to allow him 3 free passes in future and on the 4th count of same mistake, there will be serious repercussions. This way you make your teen accountable for his actions- All this without endless arguments! A step further to get closer to your teenager indeed!

Don’t dump your issues on your teen

As adults we too have our own issues, like career expectations we failed at, body image issues, insecurity,envy and several others. Don’t dump them on your kid. If you were overweight all your life, it doesn’t mean you’ll make your teen’s life miserable by counting each and every calorie they intake. You might have best interests for them in your heart, but don’t let that convert you into a control freak. Please never act like a know it all parent! This is in fact, the best and easiest way to spoil the relationship with your teen.

If you had dreams of becoming a sought after model or a revered academician but couldn’t, please learn to live with this fact. Hire a therapist if you can’t deal with it but never dump the humongous pressure of full filling YOUR career expectations on your child. He is here to live his own life, not yours. Worse, your teen can develop a sense of unworthiness within them that could lead them to depression and unhappy life later.

Scroll further to discover more secrets on how to get closer to your teenager. 


Celebrate their smallest success

Not every person on the earth is here to become an Einstein, or a Lincoln or a Gandhi. Don’t feed them the obnoxious notions of being happy only when they become successful like Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg. Being ambitious is good but there’s a fine line between passion driven and unhealthy competitiveness. Teach your teen to draw a line somewhere. Celebrate their achievements, even if it means taking them out for an ice cream treat because they scored an A in the class test. Make them feel valued. Strike a balance and don’t overdo it though.

Talk to them

Spend time with your teen. Find a common connection point. It can be talking to them on a long ride or while watching TV or over a cup of coffee. Communicate your feelings to them even if it makes you feel silly inside. Let them know you are a human too with same set of insecurities, dreams and hopes. When your teen is able to identify himself in you, he’ll get a lot closer than you ever expected.

Let go off minor conflicts

So your teen just talked back to you? Control the urge to snap at him in return. Be dignified and let go off certain conflicts, especially the ones that might seem inconsequential in the long run. Taking the high road is always better than petty fight backs. Remember, it’s not a fight you’ll win but your child that you could lose.

Hope the above tips help. Don’t forget to share. Sharing is caring!



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